How to Deal with Toxic Relationships?

What is a Toxic Relationship?

A toxic relationship is harmful to both parties involved. It can be characterized by a lack of trust, respect, and communication. In a toxic relationship, one or both partners may feel constantly belittled or put down.¹

Characterizing a Toxic Relationship

There may be feelings of jealousy, possessiveness, and manipulation as well. One partner may try to control the other through threats, violence, or gaslighting. Toxic relationships damage both parties (ranging from physically, mentally, to emotionally) and can lead to various problems, including mental health issues, missed work or school, and substance abuse.²

Emotionally and physically damaging behaviors characterize a toxic relationship. It can be challenging to identify a toxic relationship because it often starts as something that seems fun and exciting, like almost any new relationship does. However, over time, the negative patterns of behavior become more and more pronounced, leading to feelings of insecurity, anxiety, and even depression.³

What Makes a Relationship Toxic?

There are a few different things that can make a relationship toxic. One is a lack of trust, respect, and communication. In a healthy relationship, both partners should feel like they can trust each other with their thoughts, feelings, and actions.

However, in a toxic relationship, one or both partners may feel like they constantly have to defend themselves. There may be possessive or manipulative behavior occurring as well. Partners may feel like they must walk on eggshells, and this behavior could lead to ongoing emotional or even physical abuse.

Healthy Relationships vs. Toxic Relationships

In a healthy relationship, partners should feel like they are equals working together towards a common goal. However, in a toxic relationship, one partner may feel like they are constantly being belittled or put down. There may be a lot of criticism and judgment, with one partner feeling like they can never do anything right.

Signs of a Toxic Relationship

There are several signs that you or a loved one may be in a toxic relationship, and it is essential to seek professional help if you find yourself in one. The following are the signs to look for include:

Lack of support
Toxic communication
Envy or jealousy
Controlling behaviors
Resentment
Dishonesty
Patterns of disrespect
Negative financial behaviors
Constant stress
Ignoring your needs
Lack of self-care
Hoping for change
Walking on eggshells

Is it Possible to Fix a Toxic Relationship?

It is possible to fix a toxic relationship. However, it isn’t always easy to do so, and you or your loved one may end up being hurt during the process. Despite that, it may be worth it to help fix a toxic relationship. Some ways to attempt to fix one include:

Acceptance of responsibility
Willingness to invest
Shifting from blaming to understanding
Being open to outside help if needed

Not all toxic relationships can or should be fixed, but knowing what to do in order to try and fix one is an important step in the process.

How to Deal with Toxic Relationships

Toxic relationships can leave you feeling drained, exhausted, and stressed. If you find yourself in this situation, it’s essential to take steps to protect yourself both emotionally and physically.

In order to deal with a toxic relationship, here are some things to take note of:

Don’t dwell on the past
View your partner with compassion
Start therapy
Find support
Practice healthy communication
Be accountable
Heal individually
Hold space for the other’s change and vulnerability

Also, to deal with toxic relationships, it is essential to know the difference between toxic and healthy behaviors so you can steer away from actions that can be harmful to yourself or others.

Toxic Behavior

Most everyone participates in at least one behavior that could be harmful to ourselves or others. These are toxic behaviors. They might be coping mechanisms we've developed to deal with difficult life circumstances, or they could be habitual ways of relating to the world that results in us feeling bad about ourselves.

Whatever the case may be, it's essential to be aware of our toxic behaviors so that we can start to make changes. Some common toxic behaviors include feeling:
Insecure
Jealous
Self-centered
Selfish
Distrusting
Abusive
Disrespectful
These behaviors can become ingrained, and it can be hard to break out of them. Starting to go to therapy or knowing that you may be hurting yourself or others are the first steps in combating these behaviors.

Healthy Behavior

Healthy behaviors help us feel good about ourselves and make us happy. They are also behaviors that don't hurt others and allow us to resolve conflict or other events peacefully and with other people’s feelings in mind. Some common healthy behaviors include being:
Secure
Loving
Positive
Selfless
Encouraging
Trustworthy
Compassionate
Respectful

How to Leave a Toxic Relationship

The decision to leave a toxic relationship is never easy. It’s often hard to see the situation for what it is when we’re in the middle of it. If you find yourself in a toxic relationship, remember that your safety is paramount and that you deserve to be treated with respect. However, in other to leave a toxic relationship, here are some things to consider:⁴

Get Help For Toxic Relationships at Pacific Beach Health

At Pacific Beach Health, we understand that toxic relationships can affect your mental and physical health. If you’re in a relationship that feels unhealthy, you may be dealing with toxic behaviors like manipulation, jealousy, possessiveness, or control.

These behaviors can leave you feeling drained, anxious, or even scared. If you’re ready to get help for your toxic relationship, our team of experts is here to support you. We’ll help you identify the unhealthy behaviors in your relationship and develop a plan to address them.

We’ll also provide you with the tools and resources you need to build a healthy, lasting relationship. If you’re ready to get help, contact us today. We support you on your journey to a happier, healthier life.

Opportunities for Wellness

If you or a loved one find yourselves in a toxic relationship, it’s essential to be honest with yourself. If you’re in a relationship causing you more pain than happiness, it’s time to take a step back and reassess things. It’s also important to set boundaries. If someone in your life constantly puts you down or makes you feel bad about yourself, it’s time to draw the line. Also, don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need it.

If you’re struggling to deal with a toxic relationship on your own, there’s no shame in reaching out to a friend, family member, or therapist for support. Dealing with unhealthy relationships can be difficult, but by taking care of yourself and setting boundaries, you can protect yourself from emotional harm and start living a happier life.

References:

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0306624X211049187
https://www.health.harvard.edu/addiction/substance-addiction
https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_to_handle_a_toxic_relationship
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/336890622_Unhealthy_romantic_relationships_among_young_persons_Implication_for_social_work_practice_in_Nigeria